I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
