she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
