No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
