tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
