guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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