I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
false alarm. still invincible.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
