i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
