i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
