I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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