Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
