This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
