therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
