I must be too annoying 4 u.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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