her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
