you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My ass is underappreciated
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
