nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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