guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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