Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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