sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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