Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
