Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
