and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
