She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
