So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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