I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize