She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you traded sex for a burrito?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
