So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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