she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
