i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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