I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
