The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize