dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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