Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
