apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
