soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize