She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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