I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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