Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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