She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
