Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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