ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
