A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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