the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
