I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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