Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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