after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
