we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
