one might say we're banned from that church
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
