I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
