How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
