How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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