dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
