If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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