i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
so much tequila, so little girl.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize