My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
