Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
