she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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