the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
