yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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