Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
