I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
